Sam:  1.5 out of 5 Stars (19 September 2015)
Paul:  1 out of 5 Stars (19 September 2015)

Sam:  So.  We were coming home from the airport after we picked up my mom from her trip to Puerto Rico. We were hungry and looking for something to eat. We always see Johnny Carino’s whenever we go to the airport. My dad said, “Let’s try it.” 

So, we went in the parking lot and we saw not that many cars there.  We were like, “Hmmm…”  Paul was like, “Let’s pick something else.”  We went inside. 

We got our seats immediately.  We sat down.  We were watching the Georgia Tech-Notre Dame game.  We ordered our drinks.  I had Orange Italian Soda.  It was good.  Then we ordered our food.  I got Spaghetti and Meatball.  It looked good until I saw the watery sauce.  Like actual water in the sauce!  And then I tasted the plain spaghetti.  It was not good.  But, the meatball was good.  I was thinking, “This is supposed to be Italian.  They call themselves an Italian place – but they mess up  Spaghetti and Meatball!  A classic!"  Also, we saw a party trying to get set up in the room next to us....

...The bathroom was pretty clean.  It smelled good, too.  Good bathroom.  Bad food.

Bathroom:  4.5 out of 5 Stars.  Food:  1.5 out of 5 Stars.

Paul:  This review is going to be short because Sam basically said it all.  But, it was dad’s idea – not mine!  Anyway, it was pretty much my fault for ordering chicken tenders at a so-called “Italian” restaurant.  I could tell when they brought them out that they were frozen…even before I ate them.  The French fries tasted like nothing and they were very soggy.  Even my parents’ meals were terrible.  They even screwed up my dad’s Caesar salad.  How does that happen!?  The only two things good about this place were the Italian soda  (I got vanilla) and the bathrooms.

So, that’s probably why you should NOT go to Johnny Carino’s.  If you are near the airport, you are better off going to Longhorn or someplace like that, since they are all in the same strip mall.

1 out of 5 Stars.

Paul:  4 out of 5 Stars (9 August  2015)
Sam:  4 1/2 out of 5 Stars (9 August  2015)
*Parental Note:  This review was dictated to dad and transcribed with 100% accuracy.

Paul:  There’s this new shopping center across the street from the Publix on the East-West Connector in Smyrna.  The main store there is Sprout’s Farmers Market.  But, next to it they opened an Uncle Maddio’s Pizza Joint,  an AT&T Wireless store, one of those nail places, and a Mattress Firm.

After church on Sunday night, we went to Uncle Maddio’s Pizza Joint for dinner. When we got there, the owner asked us if we had ever been there before.  We answered, “No.” He told us that it was like a Moe’s, Willy’s or Subway - but for pizza!  

So, basically, how it works is they have personal pizzas and you can pick your dough, your sauce, your cheese, and three toppings.  This is called the “Build Your Own” in case you were wondering.  They also have specialty pizzas that are made with pre-decided ingredients.  They also have salads and toasted paninis.

After they make your pizza fresh in front you, they put it in a conveyer oven.  It takes around five to ten minutes.  

I ordered the traditional crust, tomato basil sauce, mozzarella cheese, pineapple, red onions, and bacon.  The pizza was good because the ratio of sauce to cheese to toppings was great.  If you go to some pizza restaurants that aren't the best, they have lot of cheese and barely any sauce on the pizza.  But not at Uncle Maddios!  Another reason why I like the pizza here is the crust. It is very light and airy. So, you can eat your entire 9” personal pizza without getting stuffed.  The cooking time was spot-on.  It wasn’t burned and it wasn’t under-cooked.  It was just right. WARNING:  The bacon is very salty!

For dessert, they have MASSIVE cookies.  We ordered chocolate chip.  You have option to put your cookies on the pizza conveyer belt to heat them up.  I recommend it that way.  I wouldn’t exactly call it a cookie.  I’d call it a “mini-cake”!  It was good.  Not amazing. But, really good. 

Uncle Maddio's is awesome!

Sam:  I ordered the BBQ Chicken Pizza on traditional crust with no onions.  It was great - no..wait…it was OUTSTANDING!  What I mean by “outstanding” is outstanding with no bacon.  I mean, it comes with bacon, but you should order it without.  The reason why should leave off the bacon is because it’s overpowering…or whatever that word is. 

There were lots of posters on the walls.  Surprisingly, there was only one poster that had a pizza on it.  The poster above our booth looked like it was a picture of Italy because they are famous for good pizzas.  They actually are.  I read that in a book.

Oh, yeah, let’s go back to Paul’s review of Uncle Maddio’s…. Don’t listen to Paul about those cookies!  I didn’t think they were THAT big. They were good, though.  Even though it was chocolate chip, it tasted a little like homemade sugar cookies right out of the oven.

Uncle Maddio’s was clean.  But, I expected it to be clean because it was a new place and a lot of times stores and restaurants are clean when they are new.

And now….dun dun.... DUNNNNNN!!! It's time for my patented bathroom review!  The bathrooms were based on modern stuff.  The cabinets were modern.  The lights were modern.  Pretty much everything in the bathroom was modern.  Like I said before, the place was new - so it was clean.

Thanks for reading the bathroom review and our restaurant review!  I hope you read us again!

*Parental note:   You can read more about Uncle Maddio's here.

Paul:  5 out of 5 Stars (4 June 2015)
Sam:  4 and 3/4 out of 5 Stars (4 June 2015)
*Parental Note:  This review was dictated to dad and transcribed with 100% accuracy.

Paul:  This is something you don’t see very often... a great burger place in an old gas station?  Yep!  That’s right!  An old Gulf gas station was turned into the best burger joint on Amelia Island... Tasty’s Fresh Burgers and Fries!  It really lives up to its name.

Well, anyway…I had the “Tasty With Cheese”… it is a quarter pound burger with everything but pickles…that includes onions, tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, and "Tasty's Sauce".   The burgers are AMAZING.  They are really juicy and they use the type of bread that our mom really likes. Our burgers were grilled to perfection.  

We ordered two different types of fries:  "Seasoned Parmesan Fries" and "Old Bay Crabby Fries".  The parmesan fries have sprinkled parmesan cheese on top of freshly cut french fries.  They are really good.  But now we get to the "Old Bay Crabby Fries".  If you are wondering, the "Old Bay Crabby Fries" are seasoned with Old Bay  seasoning and served with the most amazing tartar sauce you’ve ever had.  I think they are delicious.  The Old Bay seasoning give them a little bit of a kick….which I like.

The logo looks like a Gulf gas station logo.  And, it was obvious that we were sitting in an old gas station. 

While we were eating lunch, there were like eighteen log trucks that passed by on the street.  It was really loud!  After we finished eating, we drove down the road where they were going to see what was up.  It turns out that we vwere just up the hill from a port.  Not just any port… one right next to a paper mill!  Mystery solved!

Overall, Tasty’s is one my favorite burger joints and a place you should definitely go to if you are on Amelia Island!

Sam:  I got a the chili dog.  We forgot what the actual name of it that was on the menu... but it was really good!  I liked the "Old Bay Crabby Fries" better that the "Seasoned Parmesan Fries". The reason why I gave it 4 and 3/4 stars instead of five is because the chili dog was a little small for me.  

Our dad thought we might be near a paper mill... and WE WERE! Rock-Tenn is the name. One of the only paper mills still alive!* We saw a crane that we thought was loading the paper onto the ship. And it was going to different places to deliver. And I kept count of the log trucks that we saw.  There were 34 of them!  It was crazy!  

I really liked Tasty’s.  And another thing I forgot to mention:  There are really cool lights hanging above when you eat outside.  And there are flowers, too!

Again, I loved Tasty’s!

*Parental note:  This is Sam's loose interpretation of a portion of a brief history of Amelia Island that was printed on page 7 of Amelia Now:  A Free Guide to Amelia Island (Summer 2015 Edition).

We forgot to take pictures.  These are pictures that dad found on the Internet.

Sam:  4 3/4 out of 5 Stars (May 16th, 2015)
Paul:  4 1/2 out of 5 Stars (May 16th, 2015)

Paul:  Today, we went to The Crafty Hog. The owner's daughter is in Sam's grade at St. Benedict's.**

Well... Anyway... When we got there, for a second, it felt like we were at the beach. It had four horseshoe pitches, two bocce courts, and a sand pit for little kids to play in. It also had an outdoor bar and TV.  When we got inside, it felt like a beach house. There had to be like 20 TVs!  On each TV, they had a different sport.

Our server was very nice. I got a pulled pork sandwich. I also go this great BBQ sauce (Deep South). It was amazing! It was sweet and spicy goodness and the pork melted in your mouth.  

Then, my dad got a beer and we played bocce.  Dad beat me and Sam by one point. The court was very clean and kept up well. I can't wait to go back!

Sam:  The Crafty Hog is awwwww-some! I got two side dishes for my meal. I got the Smoked Gouda Mac and Cheese and Pork & Baked Beans. I loved them! I really loved the cheesiness of the mac and cheese. The baked beans were kind of sweet and I like that!

Now for Sam's patented bathroom review:  There was a beer sign in the bathroom (by the way, I'm talking about the boys' bathroom). For the sink they used a bucket and added a drain.  So, they recycled the bucket. The bathroom was clean.

Paul:  A Jimmy John’s just opened super-close to our house. We went there just a few days after it first opened, so it  was extremely clean and nice inside.  The workers were very friendly - and there were a bunch of them.  We think there were a lot of them because they were doing training.  Jimmy John’s slogan is “Freaky Fast Delivery”.  I can tell that’s true because our sandwiches were ready right after we got our drinks! There were at least four phones on the wall behind the counter to help with their “freaky fast delivery”!

I think the food was terrific!  I ordered the “Totally Tuna”.  It was great.  The sandwich was tuna-riffically-awesome!  Their sandwich sauce was very fresh and tasty. 

The decor is very cool.  It even has real brick walls, unlike the fake brick wallpaper at Subway.  We all liked the cool signs with trivia on them by each booth.  The one by our booth was especially cool.  We took a picture and are posting it with this review. 

The store also has security cameras, which is a nice feature.  I will turn it over to Sam for his bathroom review.

Sam:  I had "Turkey Tom" with no tomatoes. It was terrific. The bread was humongous! In the Turkey Tom is lettuce, turkey, mayo, and tomatoes.  Now for my Patented bathroom review:  The bathroom had funny signs. It was clean and it had a funny picture on the floor by the toilet. I recommend going to the restroom here.

Paul:  Hello, guys!  It’s been a while since our last review.  (Six months!) Today, we are reviewing the the Panera Bread in Smyrna.  We’ve been here about two or three times in the last few weeks, so this will be an overall review.

Two things that I enjoyed most were their Mac and Cheese and their Creamy Tomato Soup.  They were really good.  The Creamy Tomato Soup was really rich and creamy.  It was very tasty.  The Mac and Cheese was amazing.  It had a tons of cheese and the pasta was tender.

The service was just OK.  The first time we went, the guy who took our order didn’t seem to care about anything.  But, we got the same guy the next time and he was a lot nicer.  (Sam said that he "stepped it up".)

The decor was really nice.  The first time we went, it wasn’t all that clean.  But, the second time it was very clean.  A shout-out to all you people who like booths: They have plenty of them!

It is a great alternative to Atlanta Bread.

Sam: I got the Turkey Chili Bread Bowl. It was good. Inside of it was red peppers, black beans, turkey, corn, and other stuff. It was spicy. The bread bowl was good.

You should see how big their cookies are!  The chocolate chip, short bread, and vanilla cookies were like this big. (I am making a big circle with my hands.)  I didn’t want to split the cookie with my brother, but my dad made me.

Sam’s Patented Bathroom Review:  The bathroom had fancy lights.  The second and third time I was there, it was clean.  

PAUL:  While enjoying time at the beach in Charleston, we also went to Fleet Landing for dinner before going to a Charleston River Dogs baseball game at “The Joe”.  The River Dogs are a Class-A Minor League team for the New York Yankees, which is our favorite team.

Mom and dad went there by themselves earlier in the week for a “date night”.  They said it was awesome and the waterfront view was gorgeous, so we decided to go.

When we got there, you could definitely tell that this place had really good seafood just by looking at the walls because they had fishing net stuff and life vests hanging up.  We had a reservation for five o’clock, but we got there at 4:30.  Don’t show up before five because they don’t start serving until five and you’ll have to wait until five!  You can sit at the bar to wait, though.  And they may even seat you early if they are ready.

When we were seated, they put us right next to the window.  You had the option of sitting outside, but it was on and off rain, so we decided not to chance it.  We had a great view.  We saw two container ships, two sail boats, and a schooner.  And we could see Fort Sumpter in the distance as well.

For our appetizer, they gave us these really good sweet biscuits.  At first, you think, “Eh, regular biscuits.”  But, then when you actually bite into one, it’s like heaven in your mouth.  And then you put that crazy, whipped, sweet butter on them and it’s like heaven in your mouth plus a thousand!  Just keep them a-comin’.

I got the Fried Sea Scallops Platter.  The scallops were perfectly cooked and the breading crust that it made when they fried it was really delightful.  It gave a nice crispy element to the dish.  For my two sides, I had the Southern Slaw (which is a tangy version of cole slaw) and mashed potatoes (I liked those a lot).  It also came with hush puppies.  I did not eat them because I am not the biggest fan of hush puppies.  But, my dad ate one, but said they were just O.K.

I would recommend Fleet Landing to people who love seafood.

SAM:   I got the Junior Fried Shrimp with French Fries.  I liked it.  I cleared my plate of the shrimp. THE VIEW IS AWESOME! 

Now for my “patented” restroom review:  The bathroom was clean.  There wasn't much on the walls of bathroom.  Basic place to do your business.

We’re back with our first review since April!

PAUL:  We went on a week vacation to a beach house in Charleston, South Carolina with my parents and their friends.  For breakfast one morning, we decided to go to Hominy Grill.  It was not decorated too much, but it definitely had a Southern “homey” feeling.  There were 14 of us, including toddlers.  We all sat at a big, long table.  It was a nice place to eat breakfast.

I got the Charleston Nasty Biscuit.  It had fried chicken inside a biscuit with sausage gravy and cheddar cheese.  The chicken was seasoned well.  It was juicy and the breading was not too thick or overpowering.  The biscuit itself was a really good biscuit.  The gravy was everything you’d expect from a good Southern gravy.  I liked this dish a LOT.

Unfortunately, our server was not very good.  She did not smile at all.  She made us do our orders in the order that SHE wanted – and even then, she messed up some of our drinks.  We asked for separate checks for each family – and that was big mistake.  She had NO idea what she was doing.  She had to go back and redo the receipts like ten times.  I give credit to the manager because she got us straightened out - but only after we were there a super-long time trying to figure out our bill.  My mom was SUPER angry about all this.

Overall, I recommend this restaurant because everyone’s food was awesome and the problem could have just been our waitress.  They have a lot of other servers.

SAM:  The seats at the table were not comfortable for my back. I got the biscuits and gravy.  I liked it a lot.  The gravy sauce was really good.  

For my “patented” restroom review…I did not go to the restroom, so I don’t know what it was like.  

Note: This was dictated to dad by The Gaeta Boys.

We recently went to Bigun’s Barbeque in Talking Rock Georgia. How we go there is a strange story. So, we will tell you. We were driving to our grandfather’s house in Hiawassee, Georgia.  About halfway there, Sam said, “I need to go to the restroom.”  So, we went to the next gas station that we saw.  When we got there, dad looked at his gas gauge and realized it was low.  So, he got gas at the pump and we went inside to the restroom.  When we got inside, we realized it was a really big barbecue restaurant.

Meanwhile, dad was outside pumping gas.  When we got back out to the car, dad was like, “I smell something goooooooddddddd……” Mom then told us that were actually at the barbecue restaurant that we saw on a billboard a ways back. Then she looked it up on Yelp.  It had really good reviews.  So, we decided to try it out…since it was almost dinnertime, anyway.

When we walked into the front of the restaurant, Sam thought “Woooph!!!! This place looks good!”  Paul started licking his lips and thought, “This is going to be killer barbecue!”  

Paul ordered the “Big ‘n’ Sloppy” pulled pork sandwich with a small side of baked beans.  Sam got the “Bigun” pulled pork sandwich with a large side of baked beans.  Mom and dad got ribs. 

Paul’s was really good. He says:

• “If you are getting the ‘Big ‘n’ Sloppy’, make sure to put the sweet barbecue sauce on it instead of the spicy.  The sweet is better. The pulled pork was nice and tender.  It was very juicy.  The baked beans were unusually served:  It has pulled pork IN it. It was really good.”
  

Sam loved his, too.  Says Sam:

• “We actually don’t know if we got our sandwiches mixed up.  But, the sandwich I ate was really good.  The size of the baked beans order got mixed up, too.  I loved the baked beans.”
  

And, now for Sam’s patented bathroom review:  

• “When you get close to the bathroom, the men’s and women’s signs…..the people that look like a man and a women….those signs were made out of dollar bills.  And the bathrooms were filled up with license plates and art. It was a nice bathroom.”
  

If you are traveling to the North Georgia Mountains from Atlanta on Highway 515, you should make a stop in Talking Rock, Georgia…..fill up your tank with gas…and your belly with some of the best barbecue in Georgia!!

p.s. - Mom and dad said their ribs were AWESOME.

Paul:  We’re back!  It’s been a while since our last review….and also please donate money to our Jump Rope for Heart campaign for the American Heart Association. 

On March 1st, we went to El Sol Mexican Bar and Grill.  The reason why is that Sam wanted to go to Twisted Taco for dinner.  We all agreed.  But, when we arrived there, we saw a sign that said, “For lease.”  That meant that it was closed, so we had to figure out another restaurant to go to.  The whole family agreed that we all had a hankerin’ for some Tex-Mex.  So, dad asked Siri, “What are the Tex-Mex restaurants in Smyrna?”  The first thing that came up was El Sol.  Mom said that the Davis family (Grant’s family) likes it a lot.  So, we decided to go.

When we got there, it looked very small from the outside.  But, when we got in, it was a lot bigger than we expected - but, it was still pretty small.  We sat down and there was College Basketball on the TV screens (which was cool).  We decided to look at the menu very closely, since we had never been there before.

As usual with Tex-Mex restaurants, we got free chips and salsa and we ordered queso dip.  That’s what we always do when we go to Mexican or Tex-Mex restaurants.  It was really good, actually.  The chips were not too salty, but they still had some salt which brought out the flavor.  They queso wa really creamy and rich and had a very good “cheesey” taste.  Dad got jalepenos on the side, which he always likes.

I got the the Burrito Deluxe.  I ordered beans in mine because you have to choose what you want.  I would recommend getting the beans because it was outstanding in the middle of the burrito when you got to it.  It was awesome.  

When we first got in there, I was not too crazy about the decor.  But, once we got the food and we actually got to look around completely, it was actually quite neat.  They have a pretty tall ceiling.  They hang signs from it.  Like one said, “Dos Equis”.  It had a big beer bottle near the bar.  It was a float on the cieling.

The service was pretty good.  The server was nice.  She got our food to us in a decent amount of time. I recommend this restaurant if you are looking for good Tex-Mex in the heart of Smyrna.

Sam:  When you walk in there, there was a sign that said, “Stay thirsty my friends.”   I had the Cheese Quesadilla.  I liked it.  I got the Fried Ice Cream for dessert.  I really liked it.  I think Paul’s dessert was good, too.  He go the Churros with ice cream.

If you are looking for Tex-Mex restaurant, you should pick this.